Real Madrid’s transfer freeze! Ronaldo’s bundles of joy! Germany’s Confederations Cup triumph! Bayern Munich’s bad omen! And Paolo Maldini has retired… again! For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

The US Open cup keeps hope alive, Chile do the same in the Confederations Cup, LAFC’s theoretical roster continues to theoretically expand, the transfer market keeps on thriving, surprisingly favorable contracts in Russia, and witch doctors in the Portuguese Liga.

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The Garcia Report, prosecutions (finally) in the Hillsborough Disaster, Toronto FC is the champion of Canada, streaming soccer news for the Premier League and Champions League, and Confederations Cup and UEFA under-21 updates

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Daryl Grove with today's soccer news and patriotic tea-making tips:

FIFA corruption revealed, almost! An Englishman sneaks onto the US Gold Cup roster. England U21s face Germany in the Euro U 21 semis and will almost definitely not lose on penalties. Plus: Man Utd in for Matic and Liverpool get a quote on Keita.

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Christian Pulisic is up for an award! Oscar got a huge ban! The Confederations Cup remains vaguely interesting! Liverpool performed the worst piece of transfer business in history! And Sergio Ramos is really really bad at tax evasion. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Video Assistant Referees are the new Heath Ledger, Cristiano Ronaldo does Cristiano Ronaldo things, Zlatan lets his clothes do the talking, a couple of Americans might be getting new European clubs, and we take a moment to remember Tony DiCicco.

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Even more legal trouble for Real Madrid stars, Manchester United cleared of wrongdoing in the Pogba scandal, two Red Bull teams will be allowed to play in the Champions League, Boca Juniors wins the league, and Oscar causes a bench-clearing brawl

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Daryl Grove with today's soccer news and birthday wishes. On today's episode: Germany shows us the future; VAR controversy, again; new rules, coming soon to a soccer field near you; Chucky Lozano on the move; and tax problems for C-Ron and The Special One.

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The Confederations Cup begins! Are Ronaldo and Dani Alves going to the same city? It’s raining fake money at the U-21 European Championship! Paolo Maldini is a tennis player now! And, Crotone’s manager completes a really long bike ride!

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Buckle up, cause we’ve got a drama-filled episode for you today! Cristiano doesn’t like Spain anymore, Milan’s teenage sensation stabbed the club in the back and the fans in the heart ALLLLLL at once, Marco Verratti continues the will he/won’t he dance with Barcelona, Jurgen Klinsmann gets paid, Antonio Conte stays angry, Andres Guardado might be on the move, and so might Freddy Adu.

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Daryl Grove with today's soccer news! Get more goodness in the Goalmouth daily email: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Christos FC shocks DC United in the U.S. Open Cup, Canada’s own Freddy Adu (seriously, this will never get old), two Real Madrid players in court, the manager who was fired with a poem, and Howler gives you the soccer ball phone

Howler made a funny parody video. Watch it here: https://fifa.wtf/2s7nqar

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North and South Korean might put together the daddy of all World Cup bids, Cristiano Ronaldo is becoming a daddy again, Newcastle might be getting a new daddy and Neymar has the daddy of transfer values! For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Mexico and the U.S. play an entertaining 1-1 draw in their World Cup qualifier, England win the (U-20) World Cup, the UAE doesn’t even want Qatari referees, new kickoff times for the Premier League? And, the worst decision of Emmanuel Adebayor’s career. For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

On today's Goalmouth: The USA win the acronym battle with T&T, Zlatan’s leaving Manchester, Nolito really wants to leave Manchester, Leo Messi is getting married and the #wengerOut campaign gets political! Make your inbox more soccer-savvy by subscribing to the glorious Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Very very reliable sources indicate Diego Costa probably won’t be playing for Chelsea next season (hint: the source is Diego Costa), Liverpool might have broken up one too many of Southampton’s relationships, Real Madrid to stick with Keylor Navas for at least the next 6 months, Alexis Sanchez isn’t going to Manchester City, and the USA prepares for a World Cup qualifier against Trinidad and Tobago, who it seems might attempt to start the match in a literal bunker. Okay. Maybe not a literal one… but you see what I’m driving at…

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Secret MLS/USSF deal, Beckham buys Miami land, North Korean forced labor on Russian World Cup stadium, England fans banned for making Nazi gestures, Arda Turan assaults journalist and retires from international soccer, and Sergio Ramos is a pitch invader vigilante

Secret MLS/USSF deal, Beckham buys Miami land, North Korean forced labor on Russian World Cup stadium, England fans banned for making Nazi gestures, Arda Turan assaults journalist and retires from international soccer, and Sergio Ramos is a pitch invader vigilante

It's Daryl Grove with today's soccer news: Pulisic has a new boss, 2022 World Cup in doubt, Arsenal get a new left back, Liverpool get reported, and remembering Cheick Tiote.

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Real Madrid make Champions League history, Christian Pulisic saves the day, Mallory Pugh breaks her duck, Eden Hazard breaks his ankle, and Arsenal lose a club legend.

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On today's Goalmouth with Ryan Bailey: Antoine Griezmann’s Premier League plans pooh-poohed! Ronaldo gives his opinion on Messi! Juventus Stadium is getting a new name! Liam Gallagher compares Zlatan to a cartoon chicken! And a former Premier League star is forced to address rumors of his own demise! For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Atletico Madrid’s transfer activity will be forcefully limited this summer, Real Madrid continue to flirtatiously bat their eyes in the direction of David de Gea while Manchester United deny that any flirtatious eye batting has occurred, Chelsea’s already strong midfield might be getting even stronger, Manchester City’s new goalkeeper should remember that his Twitter history is easily searchable, and Carlos Tevez had a goal wrongly disallowed and it seems the entire Chinese soccer system is to blame.